Rape in Nigeria is not a new story. What’s new is that victims are finally coming out to speak about it and are getting heard. Thank God for social media.
Many Nigerian females especially have been victims of rape at the hands of those who should protect them.
Is it the case of a lecturer molesting his student and threatening her with bad grades? The house help left at the mercy of Oga’s antics, in the fear that she would lose her only source of income and be sent packing when madam hears about it?
Or 7 year old *Nkechi being raped by a supposed “Uncle” and threatened to stay quiet in the name of “who would believe you” or “do you want to bring shame to our family” or given biscuits to make her quiet?
Or 19 year old *Zainab raped by her boyfriend and wondering how anyone will believe her, after all he is her boyfriend.
Is it 25year old *Bisola scared to admit to anyone that she was raped at that party she attended because she is scared to face the stigma of that comes with being seen as someone raped. After all, she used her two legs to go there. We could go on and on.
The funny thing about the Nigeria society is that victim shaming seems to be our stock in trade.
The Nigerian society seems to always ask first questions like, what did you do to deserve rape? What were you wearing that made him want to rape you? He is your partner/lover/husband, how can you say he raped you? What is “The proof” you have that you were raped? “Its your fault, why did you go there?”
The people asking this questions seem to have forgotten that a rape victim can be anyone irrespective of religious, moral or behavioral code of conduct. If there is no consent, any form of sexual act is rape!
Males can also be raped, but the percentage of females who have been raped is higher.
As an individual, I used to wonder why people raped people. If it’s carnal knowledge you so desire, I believe there are a number of ways you could get that without having to force or coerce someone against their will.
What even scares me more is the way some Nigerian men talk about rape online. I read one that said “Any Nigerian girl that wears yoga pant should be raped at sight” and even went on to say that he has no tears for anyone raped even if they were his daughters, because they should know who they hang out with…sigh. That’s the “can never be me” attitude you have until life comes in to humble you.
I have heard of females raped coming from church programs. I have heard of females being raped in their homes by people they trusted. Women have also been raped by their partners/spouses. Even babies are being raped!
The blatant disregard some have for the female gender and the female existence seem to continually fuel this culture of rape in Nigeria.
That’s why someone can drug and rape a lady while filming it and think that there would be no consequences.
The Nigerian society has focused more on teaching women how not to get raped. What about education for the rapists?
These days, it’s seems the law enforcement officers are taking more rape incidences seriously, that’s good. But they need to do more.
The major problem now is that, when those with money are accused of rape, they have the backing of some godfather that can easily pull strings and the case will be hushed…God help the helpless.
We also need to do more than restraining orders, because that is just paper. A country like Nigeria, has no systems in place to determine someone flaunting a restraining order. The female has to protect herself all the time.
I know there are good men out there, but the bad ones seem to be working overtime to give men a bad name.
Rapists, rape enablers, revenge porn, pedophilia, victim shaming all need to be stopped.
*all names mentioned in this post are fictional.