In a chat group I belong to, someone posted Wiki searches on happiness.
There were topics like ‘how to be happy‘ , ‘how to be healthy and happy‘…, etc.
Two topics caught my attention as I scrolled through the comments.
The first was ‘how to make your girlfriend happy’, and the second was ‘how to make your man happy’.
Now what made me glance a second time wasn’t the title, it was the amount of clicks on this topics.
As a content writer myself, right now I can only dream of having that amount of clicks on a single post.
Although I didn’t read any of the posts because I wasn’t that curious, but it made me think.
People want to be happy. You want to be happy, I want to be happy, but are we actually looking in the right place for happiness?
Can you truly make someone happy or can someone make you happy?
One thing I believe though, a person cannot be the source of your total happiness, same way a person cannot be the source of your peace.
They can only try, but if you personally don’t have joy and happiness, they will use up all their energy trying to make you happy and they will get tired.
Sure some of the things they do can cause you temporary happiness, but the only person that can make you truly happy is you.
Someone said he likes to enter into a new relationship every month, because the first few weeks are always heaven on earth.
It is like the person is the air you breathe, and you will die if you don’t talk to them.
But that is initial gra gra, anything that will last long term may pass through tests, and there are times you may have to remind yourself that they were once the air you needed to breathe.
Here are reasons your partner CANNOT make you happy, or any one at all
1. YOU WILL BE A VICTIM TO YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES
If you are waiting around for someone to come make you happy, you will forever remain a victim of your circumstances.
This is because If they are not doing the things that you believe should make you happy at a certain time, then you lose your happiness.
It is too much burden to place your happiness in the hands of another human.
2. YOU WILL BE DISSAPOINTED
This is not a you can be disappointed, it is a you will be definitely disappointed.
There is something about expectations.
Your expectations are what they are – yours.
Most times people have expectations of others that they aren’t aware of, and when the person does not live up to it, they get disappointed.
Even with communicated expectations, there is always the chance that you will still get dissapointed or dissatisfied that the person didn’t do it exactly the way you wanted it to be done.
It is said that without expectations there will be no dissapointment. This isthe truth.
It’s true we cannot totally do without some form of expectation in our relationships, but remove the expectation that is your partner’s job to make you happy.
Happiness does not come from any external factor.
Have you chased something for so long, thinking that when you finally get it, you will be happy.
You get it, and in few short weeks you are back to zero point.
On to the next chase, and then you keep chasing and chasing and chasing and chasing… It never stops.
This is where godliness with contentment comes in.
Another thing that people erroneously look to make them happy is money.
Money is cool.
Money answereth all things, but even money cannot keep you happy. If it was so, then the number of people who die from suicide every year will be non-existent.
What Money gives you, is the freedom to make choices but those choices may or may not lead to happiness.
So what actually can make us happy?
Happiness comes within. It also sustained by having a relationship with God.
In conclusion, external factors like your partner can only add happiness to your already happy life.
Are you presently unhappy, then ‘seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.’ Mathew 6 v 33.