Between the devil and the deep blue sea.
I have often heard this phrase repeated when people talk about or find themself in impossible suituations.
Thinking about it, I may just take my chances with the deep blue sea, knowing fully well I can’t swim, because as far as I know anything is better than the devil.
Point is, impossible suituations are what they are impossible. Classic case of damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.
Throughout my exciting existence on earth, I have found myself in a number of difficult suituations, having to make difficult decisions and so on.
One period in particular stands out for me.
It’s the end of 2019, everyone is looking forward to the end of year festivities. It is one invite to a Christmas event after another. Beautiful christmas decorations adorn houses, malls and the city.
Christmas is one of my favourite seasons, but this year things are different.
Deep in my heart, there was no festivity. One day, I will share (probably when my biography is being written), but I was in an impossible suitation. Any direction I faced, could change the course of my life. Those were destiny defining moments.
I laughed out loud, joked around with people, attended as many events as I could and wore my best dresses. No, you would not catch me looking scruffy because my life is in a state of disarray!
My close friends were allies, an army surrounding me with love at the point when I could not love myself.
There were also a lot of other external things happening, and my suituation made them even more dramatic-I look back now and laugh.
Several nights I would stay awake making silent pleas to my Creator.
Now that I think about it, God is faithful always. I started to get so immersed with work that I had less time to worry about my suituation. Work that just so happen to fall into my hands at the moment when I needed it most. By the time I was done with work each day, there was no energy left for anything other than sleep.
Funny enough, some of my most impactful blog posts were written during that period. Reading the comments from people it touched, makes me wonder at the irony of life, and no I wasn’t writing about my suituation.
A person could be on their sick bed, and yet make great impact in the life of a healthy person who has no idea that the person who is inspiring them is going through a difficult situation.
Did I survive, yes I did or I would not be writing this now. How I did remains a mystery to me, it was just God.
My current read, tells the tale of a woman who found herself in her own impossible suituation. Her response was to find the nearest bridge and take a plunge. Thankfully, she didn’t succeed with her plan.
So far, she has gone on to have very great moments, moments in which she wondered what got into her head to ever contemplate using her own hands to end her beautiful life.
Got me curious as always, so I put up a poll on my status to see if people close to me have ever contemplated suicide or if they ever think it will be a thought they may entertain one day.
I believe speaking out about scary things demystifies it.
From the responses, some had. For those who had, I asked what suituations made them think about that and for those who hadn’t, I asked what suituations do they think, will make them think about it.
I know I know, I am too much sometimes but it is what I enjoy – deep scintillating conversations.
An outsider reading those responses might think it crazy. But you see, feelings are valid, and if a person thinks a suituation looks impossible for them, then it is, no matter what you as an outsider looking in feels.
That’s why we should always extend grace and be empathetic. What we may define as inconsequential, is a big deal to another.
For religious folks, many fear going to hell. One of my friend put it like this, what will I tell God? It’s hell fire straight.
I make bold to say, remove hell and judgement and things may be different.
But the truth is, difficult suituations are like seasons, they come and go. While in it, it may look unending but it will pass.
One major way to make sure we make it through, is to have the right mindset.
I tell myself when I am in a difficult suituation, in this amount of months I will not feel this way, or things will not always be like this. That keeps me going.
This does not mean I handle difficult suituations well, I am most often a mess but I always have this strong believe that ‘las las, I go dey alright’ and you will be too.
Hope is one four letter word that keeps us. Once we choose hope, anything is possible.
When you successfully go through impossible suituations, you become resilient.
I use ‘when’ not ‘if’, because if you are in an impossible suituation right now, trust me when I say it will get better.
Resilience – Maybe that’s why try as I may, I find it hard to pull off the whole damsel in distress thing. Sometimes I wish I could though, just sometimes, but that’s story for another day.
Your mindset in a difficult situation should be, this too shall pass and oh, don’t forget to share your burdens with proven trust worthy friends.
Even dry bones came back to life, don’t give up hope.
The human capacity for burden is like a bamboo – far more flexible than you will ever belive at first sight. – JODI PICOULT