So you broke up, for whatever reason, it happens to the best of us. You were heartbroken but you are finally moving on.
It been a few days, weeks and months since you last communicated. You are slowly trying to get your life back. Its been a painful process but with each passing day, you are getting better and better.
A bleep on your phone, a message, you open it up to view the sender, its your ex. All of a sudden, you seem to be back where you started, because one thing leads to the other, and you spend the rest of the day, thinking about the good times you all had together.
The unfortunate thing about our brain is that as time passes, we tend to minimize those things that led to the breakup. It does not look so bad after all, just a text, and then you let you guard down, recipe for disaster, You know deep down, that relationship will end up nowhere.
Or maybe you are that ex. You find a meme you know your former partner will appreciate and laugh at, and you send it to them, looks harmless right? But to what purpose?
Here are 8 tips to help you ‘not’ be the ex that never moves on.
1) Cut off all communication
Except you have kids together and are obligated to communicate, cut off all forms of non-essential communication
2) Block them on all social media platforms
Some may think this is overkill, but this is a very healthy way to move on.
You don’t want to be waking up at 3 am to be stalking an ex pictures on social media, while that ex is having a good night snooze. Out of sight of mind remember.
3) Let go of the physical memories you shared
If you really want to move on from an ex, you have to let go of the memories you shared together.
This may include pictures, music playlist and anything that would hinder from constantly thinking about them.
You definitely do not want to have a picture of a vacation you and your ex took together still sitting on your night stand, if you seriously want to move on.
4) Get over that temptation to just check up on them
You see a funny meme that you know your ex would have appreciated and you are tempted to send it to them.
It just one meme you say, the next thing from a meme, you are just texting to check up on how they are faring.
They on the other hand, are not sending you anything. You are always the one clinging to and initializing conversations that are not often well received.
Stop it now.
5)Work on enhancing other areas of your life
Realize that you can still exist perfectly without having a romantic partner.
Work on building and cultivating friendships without putting romance first.
Work on developing yourself in your chosen career path, before long as you consciously keep focusing on other areas of your life, you will see that the ex is no longer a constant thought on your mind.
6) Focus on the other important people in your life
Some say the best way to forget an ex is to start dating another. But its not recommended, as you may still carry hurt from the last relationship into the next without first healing.
That love you wanted to give your ex, channel it to the other important people you love in your life.
Spend time with family, call your friends often, plan outings with other people you love and appreciate.
7) Decide that you would be happy without them
You can decide that you want to be happy and you definitely would be.
When things happen to you, your response to them determines how it will affect you in the long run.
Yes, it wasn’t your choice for them to leave, but since they have, look for the positives. There definitely has to be some positives.
8) Understand that if it was/it is meant to be, it will
Well, I don’t recommend sitting and allowing life pass you by in the hopes that your ex would finally see that you were their one true love and return back to you.
Don’t hold on, but have the believe that what is meant to be will be. It will make it easier for you to move on, accept they are gone and not stalk them.
Moving on is hard, especially if you still love them, but it is possible. Don’t be the ex that is still living in the shadow of what is already past.