Naomi's Diary

I am free falling…

I am free falling

Story story…

You all know by now that I and trains have a special connection.

If there is one more thing you should know about me, is that I like to plan.

I find it very hard to just go with the flow sometimes.

So I plan little things like my trip to work the night before.

I never take the chance that it is already a familiar route, so I should be aware of the bus and train times.

Like with almost everything about my life, I want to limit any negative impact, so as much as I can control getting disappointed by a train schedule, I will.

Every morning that I have to be out, I double check the route I have saved for eventualities such as, a cancelled trip, etc, and on my way back, I double check.

Sometimes, I have to do things outside my normal route, like shop for groceries etc, and today was one of those days.

The plan was to use the 10 minutes interval before my next train arrived, to quickly dash into the store and pick up all the items I wanted.

The first part of my plan went well, the dashing and the picking part…all thanks to having a grocery list and little ‘penge’.

I like to have at least a general idea of how my life should be, though I have since known everything cannot be planned and I am slowly but surely letting things just flow… Still a work in progress.

 

And the story continues…

I picked all I needed under 4 minutes, gave myself a mental thumbs up for a job well done,… (Sometimes you have to be your own cheerleader) and walked confidently to the counter.

Lo and behold, there was a long queue at counter.

Where did all this people come from? and why do they have to come pay at this time?

Anyway, I tried to see if the next counter would be faster, unfortunately not.

The problem was not just the number of people on the queue, it was the amount of groceries in their baskets. And it wasn’t even pay day.

Now this was something beyond my control.

I thought about just putting back the items quietly and calling it a day, but then I thought about all the trouble I had gone through, looking for the items I needed, and trying to put them back would also take my time, so I resigned myself to fate.

Then, I decided to take whatever train I met, even though it would mean re-planning my journey. After all, I wasn’t in so much of a hurry to be anywhere.

I put on my ear phones and started jamming to my latest favorite song…Thank you Simi.

Finally, it was my turn, I paid for my items and walked leisurely out of the store. No rush.

As I got to the stairs leading to the train terminal, I decided to just check the time on my phone, and guess what, somehow by some divine orchestration, I had 2 mins left to catch my initial train.

They guy at the counter had miraculously attended to me and all those people before me, and I had also walked to the train station all within 6 minutes.

Miracles happen everyday…you just have to keep your eyes open for them

Under no pressure whatsoever, because I had decided to just let things be and not plan every little detail of the rest of the journey.

I had no control over how events unfolded, but I was fine, I did not die, shocker!

If you ask me, not knowing what’s next, can be a very scary place to be.

But I also know that there is one who is in control of everything, and though sometimes I may be like Peter, focusing on the storm, instead of the one who bids me come.

Right now as I type, the lyrics to the song ‘Jesus take the wheel’ keeps playing in my head.

There is some much uncertainty in the world right now, but although uncertainty is scary, it can also be liberating. When you hand over the control of your life to the one who created it.

Ever been on roller-coaster, I have not, but I imagine it may feel like riding a bike down a steep slope, with the wind propelling you forward.

Somehow you trust that your bike is strong enough to not give out on you midway, or that the operators of the roller coaster are capable and there will be no accidents.

 

Fortunately, I have been at this trust/free falling point for a while now, and I am getting better at keeping my balance, but I also really curious to see when my feet would finally touch the ground.

I still struggle, but I am getting better at this free fall ride if I say so myself.

 

(2) Comments

  1. Sumzy says:

    Thanks for sharing! True, sometimes we just have to let things unfold itself, as we c’ant be in control of everything. A good example is this Covid 19, you can imagine all the national, individual and collective plans its has been ruined. But still God is always in control and He’s already making ways for each and every situation that we taught has been destroyed.

    1. Legalalien says:

      Yeah…God is always control

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