Personal Development

7 ways to boost/build self confidence

How to boost your self confidence

This year, one of my goals is to work on building up my self confidence to a level where I have more faith and trust in my abilities.

I can’t count the number of times the fear of failure has hindered me from doing things I could do, fortunately boosting self confidence helps to overcome this fear.

I have noticed that the few times when I have managed to overcome the negative voices in my head, talking me down and ventured out in confidence, I made an impact.

Just having the look of confidence is enough to make you more successful in life.

One of the reason for low self confidence are the standards we set for ourselves, which can have a negative effect on our self confidence. We constantly excuse others for certain behaviors but keep berating ourselves for it.

The way you see yourself, influences the things you go for and the people you attract. The law of attraction is real.

A person with low self confidence will see themselves in a negative light. e.g. They are not smart, they are unattractive…etc,

As much as we build up personal self confidence, we should also be aware not to bring others down.

Fortunately, our self confidence can be given a boost, but before we continue further to talk about the simple things that can boost self confidence, there are some other few important points to note about self confidence.


  •  No one is born with it


  •  It can take a while to build


  • A lot of things in life can deflate your self confidence


Basically being able to really thrive in life entails us developing a very thick skin.


Here are 7 ways to build self confidence

1) Discover the things that negatively impact your confidence

It might be having a conversation with a certain person that impacts your confidence level negatively. It could be negative experiences in your environment.

In life there are people and circumstances that can build you up, and those that can continuously tear you down.

So carry out an evaluation on yourself and be truthful about the things that negatively impact your confidence levels.


2) See yourself the way you want to be seen

If you don’t see yourself as something special, even when others tell you that you are, you will not believe them.

Jane Fonda is an american actress who ranked high in the beauty world at a point, yet she struggled internally with feelings of inadequacy about her looks and suffered eating disorders.



As a child, she had overheard her father criticize her looks and even as a grown adult, this affected her perception of herself.

She had so much internalized her feeling of physical inadequacy, that even when she was being seen as something special, she did not consider herself worthy.

So picture yourself mentally the way you want to be seen, photo-shop yourself in your head.


3) Self Affirmation

I keep this pictorial vision board with daily positive affirmations. You can’t be waiting forever for someone out there to affirm you. Having a positive mindset about yourself brings about positive results.

It is worthy to note that Self Affirmations does not work simply by you repeating positive kind words to yourself everyday.

It takes first acknowledging why you have these feelings of low self confidence.



Lets say for instance you believe yourself to be dull, just Self affirming yourself by repeating “I am smart” will not automatically increase your confidence, no matter how loud you shout it.

Anytime you are having such feelings that put a dent on your self confidence, truthfully ask yourself why you have those thoughts.

Questions are powerful tools that beg for answers. Then remind yourselves from your answers, of those qualities you truly admire about yourself.

This way, you switch your focus from the negative towards having a more positive perception of yourself.


4) Talk to a trusted friend

There is no denying that our subconscious absolves all we hear, so pay attention to those you listen to.

There are specific friends that I can call and talk to anytime I need a ‘pick me’ moment.

This is because over time, I have realized that my confidence levels always spikes after a conversation with them.

The things I felt I cannot do, that were looking like giants, suddenly seemed like ants.



5) Take on that opportunity

I joined a choir sometime in my university days, I love to sing.

Several times, I would picture myself singing in mass choirs and even taking lead roles.

Unfortunately, anytime I was given the opportunity to take the lead of a song, I always declined and if for any reason, pressure was applied on me, I would make sure to come up with an excuse that would make me skip ministering at that event.

So what was wrong with me, I had never taken the lead role and failed, but I just believed that if I did, I would let everyone down.

If I knew what I do now, I would have taken those lead opportunities and just maybe I would be blogging about my opera performances.

I see you smirking, yes you…please let a girl dream in peace.


6) Dress nicely

There is this confidence that comes with the knowledge that you have on something good.

Take good care of your physical appearance. Your clothes, your hair, the way you smell, etc.


7) Always be prepared

When you are prepared, your confidence increases.

Preparedness is the ultimate confidence builder-Vince Lombardi.

Imagine studying so well for an exam, or interview, the air of confidence with which you would walk into that exam or interview hall, will be different from the one you would have if you know you are not prepared.

Part of being prepared is having knowledge.

Knowledge is power. In other to build up your self-confidence, build up your knowledge base.

Read a lot and pay more attention to things around you.


As a bonus here are 5 inspiring quotes on self-confidence to give you a boost today

“Don’t you dare, for one more second, surround yourself with people who are not aware of the greatness that you are.” – Jo Blackwell-Preston


How to build your self confidence


“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others, because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”― Lao Tzu


Don’t live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable. – Wendy Wasserstein


If you really put a small value on yourself, be rest assured that the world will not raise your price. – Author Unknown


You are the only person on earth who can use your ability. – Zig Ziglar



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