Right now you are heartbroken, you don’t know how you can survive. Your heart seems like a heavy rock has been permanently placed on it. Your emotions range from sadness to anger to regret.
If you have been rejected or cheated on, you probably feel the hurt of being seen as less than, your pride and esteem has probably been dealt a great blow. Thoughts range from maybe I just wasn’t good enough to why did I even allow myself to love?
At this moment, you are probably swearing off all love relationships, but maybe deep down you still believe in love and trust me, you should.
Love is beautiful when you meet the right person. Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of toads to get the prince.
There is nothing new under the sun, and what you are presently going through many of us have gone through before.
But I am happy to announce to you that you will find love again. Things will get better and you would look back and wonder why you were killing yourself over someone who thought you were not good enough.
I can remember a call I received from a friend when she realized I and an ex were no longer together. She was begging me to never write off love.
Sincerely, It sounded quite funny to me, because I had never thought of doing that. For me, it was just an example of a painful bad investment.
And just because you made an investment and it did not yield, that should not stop you from making another investment. All investments come with a risk, there is no playing safe in love investments. You are either out or in.
I have grown up with many examples of wonderful love relationships that I will never believe that just because it didn’t work out with Mr/Miss A, Love is dead. Or like some Twitter/Facebook feminists will say, Men are scum.
Men are not scum. Personally, I believe people from both genders can be bad. And truthfully, a bad relationship does not make the individuals involved bad, although character, knowledge and level of understanding plays a big role.
At this point you are, resist the urge to paint the other person as bad. Don’t stoop that low, yeah it can be satisfying, but remember they are probably doing the same to you.
Like I always say, we are always villains in each others story, depends on who is telling.
I find it quite amusing when for instance people breakup, and then they say its because this person was something negative. I used to wish I could find the other partner and listen to their own side of the story.
Anyway, you should realize that when you put yourself out there to love, you run the risk of being heartbroken.
That is why as a Christian, I don’t recommend you go into a relationship without hearing from God and having godly counsel. It lessens your risk.
For me at the point of my heartbreak, there were many factors that played a role in causing my pain. One of them was because I had been very careful not give my heart to just anyone.
I had promised myself when I was young, that the first guy I loved, will be the only one I end up with. But it didn’t work out that way.
The truth is, you can only be sure of yourself, you can never be sure of the other person.
You can at best believe what they tell you, but trust me, watch out for the signs, they are always there.
At this point, after a bit self-pity (you are allowed) start thanking God for saving you before it was too late.
Always and in the future, never consider compromising your standards to accommodate anyone. If you don’t have any standards, you need to start having some. The right one will help you maintain them.
My advice to you now is to go out, make friends and meet new people and in no time, you will be fine again.
Its not the end of the world, consider it just a bump on the road and move on with your head held high.
You are something special, you may not feel like it now, but give it time.
“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read.”- James Baldwin